Day 37: Thinking Thin

I watched the 2nd episode of I Can Make You Thin last night and despite it's infomercial feel, I quite enjoyed it. I don't think the tapping will be all that useful as emotional eating isn't a huge problem for me. Or maybe it is? Is it?

I am entering a phase where I am really analyzing my food intake and the hows and whys of my eating patterns. I also am following the suggestion from the show and others to Think Thin. Interesting concept. I can pretend that I am already thin. What will I eat? How will I exercise? What will I feel like? I am really having a good time with this and am leaving food on my plate and this morning had a major NSV when I ordered a tall sized nonfat latte instead of a venti. Many calories saved and I enjoyed it just as much.

Today is my husband's birthday and we are going out for fish and chips. I was totally freaking out about it for the past week because my baby is turning one (one year already?) on Monday and her big party is tomorrow. There are three cakes in my house. I love cake. I had to take a deep breath and calm myself down. I realized that HEY YOU, you don't have to pig out! Order the small fish and don't finish it! Eat until you are FULL and then STOP shoving it into your gaping cake hole.

I think I am going to be ok.

Day 33: One Third

Here we are about one third into this first 100 days of the rest of my life and I thought I would share of the changes that have happened in my life:

• This is the one I am most excited about! I can get out of bed in the morning without feeling like I am tearing my toenails out. Awesome.
• My skin has cleared up.
• I am full ALL THE TIME. I know. Makes no sense to be eating a third of the calories I am used to and be stuffed, but it is true. The types of food I am eating are so packed full of nutrients that I can barely get it all down. My goal is to eat 1500-1800 calories a day, but I think I am between 1200-1400 most days.
• Eating out is no fun anymore. Whatever they have that is healthy usually tastes like crap so why would I want to spend money on that when I can have home cooking with none of the preservatives or Franken Food.
• I can still indulge sometimes. Like one meal a week I don't pay attention to the calories so closely.
• I don't feel deprived. I FEEL GREAT!

Sample day food:

Breakfast: Double fiber english muffin with 1T natural peanut butter, 1/2T raw honey and 4 dried apricots

Lunch: Homemade bean and veggie soup and an apple

Snack: Soy Crisps

Dinner: Veggie chicken stirfry with brown rice and Strawberries

All real food, all healthy and delicious! Did I mention that it is filling?

To anyone who is thinking that they are too far gone to change.......YOU CAN DO THIS! If I can, you can!

Meme

Found this at Dottie's Place and I had to do it!

1. Cellphone: pocket
2. Relationship: amazing
3. My hair: normal
4. Work: WAHM
5. My sibling/siblings: sister
6. My favorite thing: daughters
7. My dream last night: scary
8. Favorite drink: coke
9. Dream car: electric
10. The room I’m in : diningroom
11. My shoes: loafers
12. My fears: fearsome
13. What do I want to be in 10 years: vivacious
14. Who did I hang out with this weekend: family
15. What I am not good at: skiing
16. Muffin: poppyseed
17. One of my wish list items: pool
18. Where I grew up: Oregon
19. Last thing I did: housework
20. Wearing: clothes
21. Not wearing: earings
22. My pets: heaven
23. My computer: busy
24. My life: fabulous
25. My mood: content
26. Missing: Dad
27. What I am thinking about right now: Easter
28. My car: Minivan
29. My kitchen: small
30. My weather: rainy
31. Favorite color: blue
32. Last time I laughed: today
33. Last time I cried: weeks
34. School: masters
35. Love: family

Day 31: Happy Easter!

Happy Easter! We are busy greeting the Easter Bunny and digging through baskets full of treasure (mostly non-food) with our church friends and family. As I mentioned, I am not going to obsess about the food I eat today. My mind is strong and tommorow I will get right back in step with where I was yesterday. But you know what? I am really not in the mood for candy. Yeah, weird, I know. So I will just listen to my body and if that means not candy, I will listen and obey.

Today I am grateful for this new way of living.

Day 28

Had a potluck tonight at church and did the best I could. Unfortunately there was nothing too healthy available. On the upside, there was nothing too tempting either. I mean tuna noodle casserole with stale oriental noodles on top? No thanks. So I made reasonable choices and stopped worrying about it.

I joined FitDay today and I am hoping to make it a habit. At least that way I can track what I am eating and doing so that if I stall or whatever all the information is right there. I have a planned candy indulgence on Easter because I love Easter candy and I don't think that the sweets that I eat ON holidays made me fat, but the shoveling in of cadbury eggs, M&Ms and peanut butter cups by the bucket load for a month before and after that did most of the damage. I think that enjoying the day, fitting in exercise and not bringing any candy home will mitigate the damage. I don't plan on going crazy and I also am only going to eat things that I really like so that I don't overdo.

Day 25: Peachy

Yesterday went great! I ate reasonable portions of everything, including cake (it was angelfood, but still. Cake!) I also had one glass of soda and 6 pieces of candy. You know what? I didn't feel guilty! I just went home and went to the gym, did an extra 5 minutes of cardio and went on with my night. Stranger still, I didn't eat dinner because I wasn't hungry. I still sat with my family and drank some water, but I was still full so why eat?

I watched that new show I Can Make You Thin last night and it was perfect timing because he claims that by eating only when you are hungry and stopping when you are full, you will lose weight naturally. I think that is true, but only when you are eating foods that don't induce hunger like HFCS or other simple carbs. I have been trying this today and it is the damndest thing, but I have eaten much less than usual and am not hungry. I think I will add this concept to my weightloss tool box.

Day 24:Weigh In

I woke up this morning, took a deep breath and hopped on the scale. The verdict? -2 lbs! 216! Hurray!

I went to the community center and joined their fitness center yesterday. I will go there on rainy days I don't use my trampoline or videos. I think variety is going to be a good thing. The whole time I was on the elliptical and treadmill yesterday I kept telling myself that if I just do this for 20-30 min most days of my life, then I NEVER have to feel so miserable as I was before again. One foot in front of the other.

I have my first difficult social function, a luncheon and Easter egg hunt. I have decided to try to eat normal portions of everything that looks good and maybe even eat some candy. Then? Right back on track. I plan on enjoying myself because this new way of living is indeed about living, not being miserable. If I deprive myself to much I am going to go right back to where I was 3 weeks ago.

I feel so good, and not just about the numbers on the scale. I feel in control.

Day 21: Real Life

Today was a hard day. I was stuck in the house all day with grumpy kids and I was SLEEPY and the baby was sick and wouldn't nap and you know what? I still ate healthy. I wanted to eat for comfort. But I didn't. I also didn't exercise, but I think that 5 or 6 days a week at this point is a healthy start.

I am trying out my own plan of having a 90% rule. If I eat good 90% of the time then the other 10% I can have some wiggle room. What this translates to is that out of 21 meals in a week, if I eat well for 19 of them, I can be free to enjoy a bit at a couple of meals when we are out with friends or at a party. Seems reasonable to me.

I will get to test this theory this weekend at an Easter egg hunt luncheon.

Wish me luck.

Day 19: Bring It

The blogs listed in the sidebar are a source of endless inspiration to me. I feel like I can take on the world. I think I am going to get Netflix so that I can try out some Tae Bo videos. I was bummed that they don't have Turbo Jam, but I have always wanted to give Billy Blanks a run for his money so I guess I should start there.

I have pretty much been exercising six days a week. Alternating between walking around the fitness trail (2.5 miles) for 45 min. and doing 25 min of trampoline jogging the rest of the days. I love my trampoline! But I also need to mix it up and I think some exercise videos might be just the thing.

Also, I am a total A-hole and I weighed again today. Guess what! I'm up a pound. That's what I deserve for being such a looky-loo.

Why did I do that?

I had mentioned earlier why I was not weighing. Then, stupid me, went and weighed. And again today, you know, to get the first thing in the morning weight. When I saw that the number hadn't gone down, I felt so deflated. And also fat.

If I can't handle a tiny disapointment, how am I going to hang tough and do this thing?

Today, I am going to put away the damned scale and reach deep down in myself for resolve and strength.

The Measurements

R Forearm- 11 1/2
R upper arm- 16 3/4
R Thigh-26 1/2
R Calf- 17
Hips- 50 1/2
Waist-44 1/2
Bust-47
Neck-15

Come on girls! There's work to do!

Day 17: Ok, ok, I give

Soooooo, I drug out the scale today because I am crazy. With a side of The Looney. I weigh less than I thought I did! Mid-day weight is......drumroll.....218.5. That leaves 38.5 lbs to get down to my pre-baby weight of 180.

So there we have it. I am aiming for a lb. a week. Slow going, but you know what? I'm worth it. My girls are worth it.

Wish me luck that I will make it through the 1 year old birthday party today without shoving my pie hole full of lasagna and cake.

Day 16:The Groove

I think that I am starting to get the hang of this. I am finding some little miracles along the way. The biggest being that when I don't eat sugar, I don't crave sugar. I am satisfied with healthy choices.

You will notice that, for the time being at least, I do not weigh in. This is because I have a touch of Scale Madness and have found that when losing weight it is too discouraging to see the fluctuations. Like I said before, I know that I have 100 lbs to lose. I am a size 20-22 pants and an 18-20 shirt. I will keep you posted as things loosen up and when I periodically weigh in.

So. How did I get so damned fat? Easy. Two babies in less than two years, endless pans of brownies and gallons of Coke. I gained 25 lbs a kid and was already 50 lbs overweight. I could still shop at regular stores before the babies...barely. I have been using nursing as an excuse for the past year, but seriously, no one needs to eat fries and burritos all day to breastfeed.

I have to get this weight down so that I can be the mother I want to be. I had a fat mom. I don't want to be one. I remember the shame and guilt I carried with me as a child and I don't want my girls to experience the same thing. The way the story goes, it was parent teacher night when I was in the 2nd grade. The teacher told me that our parents would be coming! To our classroom! To sit in our desks! Holy shit. Not so much. So with my mind racing, I went to my teacher and asked if she would put a chair next to my desk because my mom? Well, she was very.......tall. I never want my girls to have to know that kind of panic. I want to be the mom full of energy who goes outside and plays! Not the fat woman tucked in the house.

The plan I am following is simple. Whole foods. Nothing processed except small amounts of whole grains. Vegetables. Fruits. Nuts. Lean Meats. Fish. So far I feel great and it hasn't been hard because my husband rocks. I also exercise 5 days a week. Two 45 minute walks and three twenty five minute sessions running on my rebounder (mini trampoline)

This has to work. It just has to.